K is my holiday baby. My guess date was in the beginning of January and I was very aware that she could come over Christmas or NYE. I knew what I wanted this time and I knew I was going to do everything I could to get it. I ate a lot better, saw my chiropractor and overall felt physically better than I had in my previous 2 pregnancies. Emotionally though I was having a hard time as I was met with a lot of challenges that I hadn’t expected. She was breech, which resulted in me having an ECV (external cephalic version), plus I suffered from severe pelvic pain, and my prosthetic leg no longer fit.
Over Christmas and Boxing day I was miserable. All I wanted to do was hibernate, and it’s pretty much all I did. On the 27th though, I had a boost of energy. I took a shower, did my hair and wanted to go out, even though I had been having cramps and back pain on and off all day. After dinner I decided to just relax and take a bath. While in the bath my waves were anywhere from 6-10 minutes apart, but were sporadic in length and intensity. I made a phone call to help another mother with breastfeeding, but had to end it early as things started to pick up. I went to bed, hoping to sleep a few hours in case this was it. I couldn’t find a good position though and sleep never came. Finally around midnight, after getting in and out of bed a couple of times, I decided to distract myself my blowing up the birth pool for my planned home birth.
At 2am, after one last attempt at sleep, I called my doula, midwife and photographer. Within an hour they were all there. I asked to be checked by my midwife and was at 4cm. I loved being at home and being able to move as I wanted to. I went from the couch, to the cold floor, to sleeping on the stairs in between waves. I was freezing cold and spent a lot of time being wrapped in a blanket a friend had made for me 18 years before. My doula was a god send, making sure I was sipping on water, getting the tens machine hooked up and making sure the bowl was ready when I got sick. Even with that though, all I wanted was to be in my birth pool, which felt like is was taking forever to fill. I spent this time visualizing waves crashing over me and moving out into the ocean, repeating my birth affirmations. Telling myself I could do it, that I was doing it.
Finally I was able to get into the birth pool. I felt so relaxed. My waves spread out and became more manageable. Because things had slowed down a bit my midwife mentioned getting out to pick things up. Instinctively though, I knew that I was where I needed to be. Around 5:30am a wave came over me and all of a sudden felt like I couldn’t do it anymore. I looked at my doula and asked why I was doing this. Everyone there said that I let out a moan and they all knew that I was in transition. Waves started taking over and coming back to back. It was at this time I went from sitting to wanting to be on my knees leaning against the pool. Once I was in this position I felt her head drop into the birth canal. It was so intense. All I could do was swear , scream and go with my body as it took over pushing my baby out. I remember thinking that women were crazy to like pushing because this felt horrible. Once K started crowning my midwife asked if she could rupture my membranes but I didn’t hear her. My doula had to get in my face to make sure I knew what my midwife was asking. My response was that “I don’t care, I just want her the fuck out!”. I felt the ring of fire and then got a small break. My body took control and started pushing the rest of K out. I was so overwhelmed. My baby was here. She was so beautiful and covered in vernix. K let out a small squawk and promptly fell asleep on top of me.
She was born 17 minutes after I hit transition and 3 minutes after I started pushing. Her birth has forever changed me.